I got abducted by aliens last night. Not that big a deal actually,... (MORE)

Dropped cell phone calls are just God's way of saying "Come on people, that's just TOO MUCH useless banter!! ... (MORE)

I quit smoking cigarettes and took up chicken plucking to keep my hands busy. Works like a charm. I tried the patches, to little success. Couldn't keep them lit...

KNOWLEDGE BEATS CONFUSION, PRODUCTIVITY BEATS DEPRESSION, BALANCE OVERCOMES STRESS, BLEACH BREAKS DOWN CARBON, AND SOY SAUCE DISSOLVES WASABE

My inner child runs this place...

I'll tell you how much of a health nut I am. You know those "One-A-Day" vitamins?............................. I take two.

Ok, let me try to get this straight, because I still don't get it. It takes the reaction of OTHER people in order for you to have SELF-esteem??

Aim for the idiot, you'll target the largest demographic.

Jeff Conaway is proof that you can do so many drugs, that you turn into Jerry Lewis